Voice Menu for HR services revised

For Gloria, dial 4;for Cynthia dial 4

In line with our core value of greater axe-cessibility of HR services in a timely fashion, we have updated our HR voice menu in our call centre. Here it is:-

"Wow, you have reached HR, headed by EVP HR Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux, business partner and chartered coach."

1. For voluntary pay cuts, press 0.
2.  For a guide to enhancing work-work-work-work-work-life balance, press 1.
3. For your key objectives, press 2.
4.  To hear some of Stan's motivational speeches, please press 3
5. For a personal yet risky  one on one with a certain Ms Cynthia Axe, Head of Early Bird Retirement, press 4. Please note that Ms Axe needs to trim 50 people this wow week.
6. To hear this global English menu in Chinese or Russian, press 4.
7. For aboriginal, women's and minority rights, please press 4.
8. For sexual harassment issues, please press 4.
9. For the blockchain repair shop, press 4 and then the hash key
10. To speak to Ms Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux, SVP HR and certified coach, please send her a brief and actionable text, then press the last 4 numbers of your credit card.
11. To hear about HR's business partnership with Stan, stay on the line and speak to an " attendant" in Turkmenistan, who is now acquiring some English skills.
12. For talent management, career path, knowledge management and others fads of the week, please hang up and we will return your call, upon the release of our next product. 
13. If you support replacing HR with a bot, please cut your wrists, then dial 8.